so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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