I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
