I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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