someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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