he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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