Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
