hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize
