My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize