i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
