new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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