can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
