I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
