I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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