It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
