Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
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I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
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