Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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