GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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