i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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