im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Are we still banned from the library?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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