And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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