Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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