he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
