Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
this will be a night to untag.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
