I think I won the penis lottery.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
