just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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