I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
