i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your penis caused this!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
