he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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