I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
