I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize