Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Drunk is a universal language darling
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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