We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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