Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
