So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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