She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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