And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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