He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize