I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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