Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize