I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
