I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
