I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
