Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
