Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
