I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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