I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
