So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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