I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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