Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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