quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize