it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
