i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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