i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
