I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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