the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Michael Bay diarrhea
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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